Damn I'm Fat

A life of no coffee and walnut cake is stretching before me.  

Recently my clothes don't fit.  Lets be honest these aren't size 10's, oh no.  These are size 16's and the few 18's in my cupboard are tight.  I'm going places and lovely people are saying you look nice/smart.  It's because in the house I'm wearing my housework/decorating trackies and outside it, one of my two pairs of smart grey trousers that fit.

My friend bought some new scales and I got on.  In the words of Foul ole Ron "Buggerit".  I am three stone heavier (yes I did say three stone) than I thought I was and that in turn is four stone heavier than I apparently should be for my height.  Which I have to say is not tall (5 foot 1/2 inch).

For the last two days I have been obsessed with every morsel going into my mouth.  This is not actually a problem, what will be a problem will be to remember that I am obsessed with not eating when I catch sight of coffee and walnut cake.

Every time I give up smoking (which I have done twice for four years and this time for two and half years) I just shove all sorts of food into my mouth instead.  So this is the addiction I have to break.  I will always be a nicotine addict who hasn't had one yet today (which is my preferred method of not smoking - I put off having one till later), but really I like that hand, mouth, throat sensation.  In the past I have allowed my weight to be an excuse to smoke again, but I just don't fancy it at the moment.  I want to be thinner, fitter and honestly, in control.

So, it's time to take a long hard look at what I put in my mouth and what I physically do 'cos anyone knows that is where the changes have to be.