I Pull My Blue Jeans On

Just how has my personal history informed the way I dress.  Well I'm 48 and no longer wear those multi-coloured mini skirts made from the remnant bins.  I don't have those size 10 jeans with 37 patches (patches on patches) and the size 10 boat sailed so long ago I don't remember how many masts it had.

I used to dress in whatever I liked.  Not in the so what way but what I liked the touch, feel, style, fabric of whether or not it suited me, was practical for what I was doing or, ahem, even if it fitted well.

I'm still swayed by the feel and the drape, but I cannot afford to make a mistake which often evens itself up as "if in doubt, do without" and I also have the starlings to feather first.  I'm still a sucker for the bright, bold and out there and over the years that is where most errors have been made.  The other note to self has to be NO WHITE, my lifestyle just cannot support it.  I love it but it does not mix with kids, cats, dogs, motorbikes, gardening, cooking.  "You rake around too much for that" my mum used to say.  I thought she was having a go but she was just being honest.  I do rake around, I like it that way.  I want to be all Audrey Hepburn but ... 

The very beautiful and demur Audrey Hepburn

Being a fashion guru in the lovely Sand's back garden

I'm not and no amount of wanting will make me be.

My most famous faux pas was a silver zoot suit  - I am 5', I'd seen a tall leggy model wear one she looked great I looked crap.  Hey it was the 1980's.

I think having children was the major turning point.  It felt like I was smeared in other peoples puke, piss and bodily detritis for years.  What do I mean felt like, I was.  My body filled out and fell downwards and whilst I must for my own health give it a bit of an overhaul at the same time I have learnt to love my body fat or thin, young or old most of the time.  In fact in its naked state its really ok with me.  It's the stretched, soft, scarred temple MY soul lives in.  My actual body is not the problem.  The problem comes when I put things on it don't that suit it and it ends up looking very wrong.

I have found that although casual and practical I look good in jeans, dressed up or down.  I have all sorts of jeans in different widths and colours, even shorts, but even then its boot leg or skinny not straight they don't suit.  They're warm, practical and occasionally long lasting.  I've found colours and styles of tops that suit the massive bazoomas, arms and short waist.  I would like to wear more dresses but it is hard to get them to a) fit and b) look good so because of the cost issues I tend not to bother for fear of getting it wrong but maybe this summer is the year of the dress.