Damn I'm Fat

A life of no coffee and walnut cake is stretching before me.  

Recently my clothes don't fit.  Lets be honest these aren't size 10's, oh no.  These are size 16's and the few 18's in my cupboard are tight.  I'm going places and lovely people are saying you look nice/smart.  It's because in the house I'm wearing my housework/decorating trackies and outside it, one of my two pairs of smart grey trousers that fit.

My friend bought some new scales and I got on.  In the words of Foul ole Ron "Buggerit".  I am three stone heavier (yes I did say three stone) than I thought I was and that in turn is four stone heavier than I apparently should be for my height.  Which I have to say is not tall (5 foot 1/2 inch).

For the last two days I have been obsessed with every morsel going into my mouth.  This is not actually a problem, what will be a problem will be to remember that I am obsessed with not eating when I catch sight of coffee and walnut cake.

Every time I give up smoking (which I have done twice for four years and this time for two and half years) I just shove all sorts of food into my mouth instead.  So this is the addiction I have to break.  I will always be a nicotine addict who hasn't had one yet today (which is my preferred method of not smoking - I put off having one till later), but really I like that hand, mouth, throat sensation.  In the past I have allowed my weight to be an excuse to smoke again, but I just don't fancy it at the moment.  I want to be thinner, fitter and honestly, in control.

So, it's time to take a long hard look at what I put in my mouth and what I physically do 'cos anyone knows that is where the changes have to be.

Hi

Today is a non-pupil day for my kids.  This morniug I was looking out of the window wondering what to do with them as it was drizzling and cold.  They made their own plans.  R's plan cost me though when she paid off the last instalment for her prom dress.  The younger two went out to the local skate ramps on their bikes and in the end K and I picked up a fabric parcel from the Royal Mail.

Over the weekend I did finish the two lots of Christmas bunting that got started at the beginning of December.  They got halfway done and then were waiting for me to sew felt letters on.  When I actually (last week) sewed on a couple of letters I didn't like them anyway, so I took them off, put on the ribbon and hey presto they were done.  Could have had them hanging up after all.  Hey ho.

I used to wander round fabric shops and look at the bolt of quilt fabric and think what is this all about get whatever I wanted and walk out.  When the kids were younger I quite often found when I was woken up, I couldn't get back to sleep so I would get up and iron and watch whatever was on the box.  One night I saw Eleanor Burns.  What she made was beautiful, and she was "so much fun" and just so up beat and positive, a balm to my exhausted soul.  I searched her on the computer, devoured her videos and wanted to learn to quilt.

I also finished the baby's quilt.  This is my first ever started quilt.  Not my first ever finished.  They baby will be two in the summer.When my niece was born I thought baby need something to roll around on an excuse for my first quilt. Haha, she can walk now.  But it is finished. and I am going to send it this afternoon.





















Ruby has just spent 10 happy minutes trying to take a picture of me to put up on here without me looking like the hag from hell.  Well, at least I've laughed out loud for 10 minutes.  That's s'posed to be good for your heart.